I wish I dared send this to my son who converted to Islam, but I won't because it would probably create a bad split. Muslims have no sense of humour where their religion is concerned, apparently.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/islamic-extremist-gives-up-on-radicalizing-dimwitt,32189/?ref=auto
..
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Who has written this?
...
... Nisargadatta's teachings also focus on our notion of causality as being misinterpreted. He understood that the interconnectedness of varying forces in the universe is so vast and innumerable that the notion of causality, as presently understood, is wasted. The endless factors required for anything to happen means that, at most, one can say everything creates everything; even the choices we make are predetermined by our genetic code, upbringing, mental strivings and limitations, our ethical and philosophical ideals, etc., all of which are uniquely combined to each person and recontextualized accordingly.
This leads to the radical notion that there is no such thing as a "doer". According to him and other teachers of Vedanta, since our true nature or identity is not the mind, is not the body, but the witness of the mind and body, we, as pure awareness, do nothing. The mind and body act of their own accord, and we are the witness of them, though the mind often believes it is the doer. This false idea (that the mind is the self and responsible for actions) is what keeps us from recognizing our Self. Nisargadatta cautions:
"The life force [prana] and the mind are operating [of their own accord], but the mind will tempt you to believe that it is "you". Therefore understand always that you are the timeless spaceless witness. And even if the mind tells you that you are the one who is acting, don't believe the mind. [...] The apparatus [mind, body] which is functioning has come upon your original essence, but you are not that apparatus."
Nisargadatta —The Ultimate Medicine, (pp.54 - 70) Copied from Wikipedia.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Can you guess?
We have agreed upon two rules so far:
1) computers closed before 22:30; and
2) a goodnight kiss, properly done, no matter what.
These two rules have proved easy to implement and beneficial. Now I want to add another:
"No silence when speech is called for."
I have a good reason for wanting this.
I told Rosie about my new rule proposal while we were having our evening drink this evening in the cool twilight outside. What was her response?
1) computers closed before 22:30; and
2) a goodnight kiss, properly done, no matter what.
These two rules have proved easy to implement and beneficial. Now I want to add another:
"No silence when speech is called for."
I have a good reason for wanting this.
I told Rosie about my new rule proposal while we were having our evening drink this evening in the cool twilight outside. What was her response?
Monday, April 15, 2013
Tribute to J S Bach
I sat down yesterday at my piano to play through two or three pieces from J S Bach's second book of the the Well-tempered Clavier (48 preludes and fugues), while waiting for some cooking to complete (I was making the supper as usual). I had already drunk a couple of small glasses of whisky – more than usual and perhaps too much, for when I came to play these amazing creations I kept bursting into tears at the sheer beauty and rightness of them. Prelude number III in C# (BWV 872) is one of my favourites, and it's not difficult to play. At first it doesn't seem much but you soon begin to realise the delicate lacy tapestry of sounds, the patterns and progressions alternating between bass and treble, the unexpected yet apparently inevitable figures appearing and disappearing.
I absolutely agree with Glenn Gould (famous Canadian pianist) that Bach was “beyond a doubt the greatest architect of sound that ever lived.” I consider myself highly fortunate to be able to read, play and enjoy some of his creations three centuries after he committed them to paper. The ability to hear and understand, and even to play for myself in some cases, Bach's music is one of the greatest blessings with which I have been blessed in this life.
Here you can find two different recordings of Glenn Gould himself playing this prelude and the paired fugue as well, which I have not yet learned to play. The first one shows Gould in action (video stuck for about the first 30 seconds); the second one, which I prefer because slower, has better sound for my ears but no video. (If your browser warns you about redirection, ignore that, it's OK). Gould was regarded as a master of Bach's music, and there's no doubt about THAT; but I find him a little heavy, and he uses a piano, whereas these pieces were written with harpsichord in mind, which is altogether a lighter and less dominant instrument. Pianos had hardly been invented and were still a novelty by Bach's time.
Glenn Gould had a habit of humming to himself while playing, making things difficult for his recording engineers, who often did not manage to avoid recording that too. I like it, personally; I do it myself a lot, I would not like to be compelled to remain silent while playing. Playing this music for yourself is an awful lot better than listening to someone else playing, however much more skilled they may be!
I absolutely agree with Glenn Gould (famous Canadian pianist) that Bach was “beyond a doubt the greatest architect of sound that ever lived.” I consider myself highly fortunate to be able to read, play and enjoy some of his creations three centuries after he committed them to paper. The ability to hear and understand, and even to play for myself in some cases, Bach's music is one of the greatest blessings with which I have been blessed in this life.
Here you can find two different recordings of Glenn Gould himself playing this prelude and the paired fugue as well, which I have not yet learned to play. The first one shows Gould in action (video stuck for about the first 30 seconds); the second one, which I prefer because slower, has better sound for my ears but no video. (If your browser warns you about redirection, ignore that, it's OK). Gould was regarded as a master of Bach's music, and there's no doubt about THAT; but I find him a little heavy, and he uses a piano, whereas these pieces were written with harpsichord in mind, which is altogether a lighter and less dominant instrument. Pianos had hardly been invented and were still a novelty by Bach's time.
Glenn Gould had a habit of humming to himself while playing, making things difficult for his recording engineers, who often did not manage to avoid recording that too. I like it, personally; I do it myself a lot, I would not like to be compelled to remain silent while playing. Playing this music for yourself is an awful lot better than listening to someone else playing, however much more skilled they may be!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Two questions about DD
It's now more than a week since our first proper foray into punishment for DD violations, and Rose got 5 smacks with the hairbrush for not closing her computer at the agreed time. They were not hard, only about 30% of full force. She didn't like it and got distant for a few minutes, but afterwards gave me a hug and a kiss. Not only was this a surprise to me, something that seldom happens just out of the blue, but she has been unusually affectionate ever since.
As for my own feelings, I am shy to reveal this, but it's certainly true that I feel more loving towards her and more proud of her when I exercise this authority. Not right at the time, for I don't like spanking her as a punishment; but some time later.
Though I have been theoretically enthusiastic over DD for years, my surprise at this development shows me that I was not in fact quite so enthusiastic as I had thought. Now, I am really beginning to be more confident and think it is going to do us some good. Such a simple thing, how is that it isn't more widely adopted?
That's the first question, that I don't expect to get an answer to. The second question is: Last year Rose's room was disgracefully untidy and dirty, and for six months I had been asking her to tidy it, but with very little result. Finally when one day she was absent for some hours, I did it myself, taking care not to throw out or burn anything that looked as though it might be something she would need. It took me about four hours and I filled a large garbage sack with rubbish, almost all off the floor of her room.
Rose was very indignant and sulky with me for a long time over this. In my opinion now, I should have spanked her long before it got to the stage of my having to do it. I would still like to punish her quite severely as her conduct was really indefensible and very disrespectful. She refused to apologise. Is there in practice a statute of limitations in matters like this?
I recently read Christina and Jim's account of their beginnings in DD and let Rose read it too; it included just such a delayed spanking; but the circumstances were admittedly different and Jim had not delayed out of timidity, whereas I did - mostly. I feel diffident on account of this delay of my own.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Reading to Rose
All through Claude's childhood from the age of four or younger (he's now sixteen) I read to him every evening at bedtime, until he was about fourteen, when he didn't want me to do that any more.. During those years we got through many books, children's books and classics of English fiction. I just hope it will turn out to have been useful to him.
I started reading to Rose about three or four months ago. Rose doesn't have the patience or the vocabulary to read English fiction, although she likes researching stuff online such as herbal cures, and knows quite a lot about them. I began with "Gone with the Wind", not really a good choice as I had not read it myself before, it's very long and there are too many passages where the author is just trying to describe someone's feelings. I got bored with it myself at times! But we got to the end eventually, and Rose and I will both have some idea of the American Civil War and its devastations.
I followed with "Cider with Rosie" by Laurie Lee, a favourite of mine, but until I started to read it to her I had not realised how complex the language sometimes was, dialect (familar to me from my childhood in that area) and allusions to classical works abound. Nevertheless it seemed to hold her interest, to a certain extent.
I realised I would have to find something simpler, so I decided upon "Anne of Green Gables", which we started a few days ago. This is much more successful, and we are both crying and laughing our way through it. While I can read such a book quite calmly to myself, when reading it to Rose I find tears and laughter uncontrollably bubbling up frequently, and have to keep tissues nearby. To me, Anne is a very sympathetic character and much like myself in many ways. It's clear that Rose is enjoying it and looking forward to the next installment.
I"m interested in reading aloud to someone as it gives "scope for the imagination", as Anne herself would say, whereas watching a film or TV leaves nothing for the imagination to work on.
I started reading to Rose about three or four months ago. Rose doesn't have the patience or the vocabulary to read English fiction, although she likes researching stuff online such as herbal cures, and knows quite a lot about them. I began with "Gone with the Wind", not really a good choice as I had not read it myself before, it's very long and there are too many passages where the author is just trying to describe someone's feelings. I got bored with it myself at times! But we got to the end eventually, and Rose and I will both have some idea of the American Civil War and its devastations.
I followed with "Cider with Rosie" by Laurie Lee, a favourite of mine, but until I started to read it to her I had not realised how complex the language sometimes was, dialect (familar to me from my childhood in that area) and allusions to classical works abound. Nevertheless it seemed to hold her interest, to a certain extent.
I realised I would have to find something simpler, so I decided upon "Anne of Green Gables", which we started a few days ago. This is much more successful, and we are both crying and laughing our way through it. While I can read such a book quite calmly to myself, when reading it to Rose I find tears and laughter uncontrollably bubbling up frequently, and have to keep tissues nearby. To me, Anne is a very sympathetic character and much like myself in many ways. It's clear that Rose is enjoying it and looking forward to the next installment.
I"m interested in reading aloud to someone as it gives "scope for the imagination", as Anne herself would say, whereas watching a film or TV leaves nothing for the imagination to work on.
Friday, April 05, 2013
Reasons for following a DD lifestyle
Bas wrote a post recently that prompted me to try to articulate my reasons for wanting a DD marriage.
1) Our marriage must not stagnate in mediocrity but must shine as an example to all.
2) A man should be able and confident to lead and a woman should be able and confident to submit, because these characteristics are natural, sexy in the broadest meaning of the word, and generate mutual attraction.
3) Malcolm needs to learn to be more decisive. Too often - almost always - the native hue of resolution gets sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, and not because of conscience but from sheer timidity.
4) Rose needs to learn to accept Malcolm’s decisions without aggressive arguing; but Malcolm must ask Rose for her input on a matter about which he will make a decision.
5) Malcolm needs to become more self-confident
6) Rose needs to avoid sulking and unwarranted silence
7) Malcolm needs to speak his thoughts to Rose more readily, when they might affect her.
8) Rose needs to be more proactive about following an agreed housework schedule and be held accountable for it
9) Malcolm and Rose both need to be better disciplined and not neglect obligations and duties
10) Malcolm and Rose both need to avoid “distancing”
11) Many success stories on the internet encourage us
Will DD will help us to make these improvements?
1) Our marriage must not stagnate in mediocrity but must shine as an example to all.
2) A man should be able and confident to lead and a woman should be able and confident to submit, because these characteristics are natural, sexy in the broadest meaning of the word, and generate mutual attraction.
3) Malcolm needs to learn to be more decisive. Too often - almost always - the native hue of resolution gets sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, and not because of conscience but from sheer timidity.
4) Rose needs to learn to accept Malcolm’s decisions without aggressive arguing; but Malcolm must ask Rose for her input on a matter about which he will make a decision.
5) Malcolm needs to become more self-confident
6) Rose needs to avoid sulking and unwarranted silence
7) Malcolm needs to speak his thoughts to Rose more readily, when they might affect her.
8) Rose needs to be more proactive about following an agreed housework schedule and be held accountable for it
9) Malcolm and Rose both need to be better disciplined and not neglect obligations and duties
10) Malcolm and Rose both need to avoid “distancing”
11) Many success stories on the internet encourage us
Will DD will help us to make these improvements?
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
The Thin End of the Wedge - 2
I wrote out our agreement about computer shutdown time and after showing it to Rose and negotiating some more, we settled on using the last event log of the day as the final shutdown, but added three minutes as it does sometimes take quite a long time to shut down.
Last evening Rose was late in shutting down her computer. She doesn't do this from defiance, but because she gets so immersed in what she is reading that she forgets the time. I do that myself, too. I saw she had it open at 10:36, looking at a web page, so that was more than six minutes late, entailing seven smacks with the hairbrush. But the last event log was at 10:37:13, so taking into account the extra three iinutes allowed, that made 5 smacks. We did have an argument over this: Rose wanted only four, and I was pissed off about this as arguing is the very thing I want to avoid, especially as I am a very slow thinker, and let pass what I should not let pass.
So she got five smacks with the hairbrush after I had checked the last event log. I was terribly nervous about this as the one thing Rose hates is not so much the smacks, but the idea she deserves punishment. After that she found it difficult not to sulk a bit and get distant (I think that has been a coping device since early childhood); but later, after about half an hour, she recovered and gave me a hug and a kiss - not something she does often. I felt more optimistic. Actually I felt very loving towards her.
By the time we were ready to go to sleep it was after midnight. I suggested a goodnight kiss - something many couples do but we never have. She complied readily and agreed to make it a rule.
This morning I determined to do something to avoid further arguments, so after a long search online ( I am not a computer geek) I found out how to enable logon/logoff events on her computer, which were not previously recorded. Today I will re-draft our agreement to revert to the 10:30 shutdown time, using her logoff time, which will now be recorded on her computer automatically...
All this might seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill; but I am a very diffident man and before imposing sanctions have to be absolutely certain that I am right, and that however much Rose argues, I am not going to change my decision. It's something I really need to learn as I have suffered from indecision and diffidence since my teenage years.
I may be an old man by the calendar but I am a newbie at DD. Rose has not been enthusiastic to take it up, but I have persisted as I want our marriage to shine and not descend into mediocrity during my last years in this incarnation. So any advice will be gratefully considered.
Last evening Rose was late in shutting down her computer. She doesn't do this from defiance, but because she gets so immersed in what she is reading that she forgets the time. I do that myself, too. I saw she had it open at 10:36, looking at a web page, so that was more than six minutes late, entailing seven smacks with the hairbrush. But the last event log was at 10:37:13, so taking into account the extra three iinutes allowed, that made 5 smacks. We did have an argument over this: Rose wanted only four, and I was pissed off about this as arguing is the very thing I want to avoid, especially as I am a very slow thinker, and let pass what I should not let pass.
So she got five smacks with the hairbrush after I had checked the last event log. I was terribly nervous about this as the one thing Rose hates is not so much the smacks, but the idea she deserves punishment. After that she found it difficult not to sulk a bit and get distant (I think that has been a coping device since early childhood); but later, after about half an hour, she recovered and gave me a hug and a kiss - not something she does often. I felt more optimistic. Actually I felt very loving towards her.
By the time we were ready to go to sleep it was after midnight. I suggested a goodnight kiss - something many couples do but we never have. She complied readily and agreed to make it a rule.
This morning I determined to do something to avoid further arguments, so after a long search online ( I am not a computer geek) I found out how to enable logon/logoff events on her computer, which were not previously recorded. Today I will re-draft our agreement to revert to the 10:30 shutdown time, using her logoff time, which will now be recorded on her computer automatically...
All this might seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill; but I am a very diffident man and before imposing sanctions have to be absolutely certain that I am right, and that however much Rose argues, I am not going to change my decision. It's something I really need to learn as I have suffered from indecision and diffidence since my teenage years.
I may be an old man by the calendar but I am a newbie at DD. Rose has not been enthusiastic to take it up, but I have persisted as I want our marriage to shine and not descend into mediocrity during my last years in this incarnation. So any advice will be gratefully considered.
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