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Saturday, April 13, 2013

Two questions about DD

It's now more than a week since our first proper foray into punishment for DD violations, and Rose got 5 smacks with the hairbrush for not closing her computer at the agreed time.  They were not hard, only about 30% of full force.  She didn't like it and got distant for a few minutes, but afterwards gave me a hug and a kiss.  Not only was this a surprise to me, something that seldom happens just out of the blue, but she has been unusually affectionate ever since.

As for my own feelings, I am shy to reveal this, but it's certainly true that I feel more loving towards her and more proud of her when I exercise this authority.   Not right at the time, for I don't like spanking her as a punishment; but some time later.

Though I have been theoretically enthusiastic over DD for years, my surprise at this development shows me that I was not in fact quite so enthusiastic as I had thought.  Now, I am really beginning to be more confident and think it is going to do us some good.  Such a simple thing, how is that it isn't more widely adopted?

That's the first question, that I don't expect to get an answer to.  The second question is:  Last year Rose's room was disgracefully untidy and dirty, and for six months I had been asking her to tidy it, but with very little result.  Finally when one day she was absent for some hours, I did it myself, taking care not to throw out or burn anything that looked as though it might be something she would need.  It took me about four hours and I filled a large garbage sack with rubbish, almost all off the floor of her room.

Rose was very indignant and sulky with me for a long time over this.  In my opinion now, I should have spanked her long before it got to the stage of my having to do it.  I would still like to punish her quite severely as her conduct was really indefensible and very disrespectful.  She refused to apologise.  Is there in practice a statute of limitations in matters like this?

I recently read Christina and Jim's account of their beginnings in DD and let Rose read it too;  it included just such a delayed spanking; but the circumstances were admittedly different and Jim had not delayed out of timidity, whereas I did - mostly.  I feel diffident on account of this delay of my own.


  1. It is called cleaning the slate. If a couple still has issues that are causing discontent from the past, you can give a spanking to clean the slate and move on to forgiveness.

  2. Thanks, Blue Bird. All advice on this is welcome!

    1. Hi Malcolm,
      On reading the comments, I will explain mine a little more. I have read about some couples who do this, but it is always (from what I have read) by mutual agreement. If there is a grievance that is really standing in the way of the couple moving forward, many times it is the wife who asks for this to remove the guilt.
      You can always make sure she understands how upset that made you and any repeat will have dire consequences. But don't clean it yourself!

  3. I'm not sure on this one. I don't think I'd be too happy if I received a spanking for one thing that was a long time ago unless I had been hiding something. DD was the clearing the slate for us.


    1. Yes, Callie, I'm inclined to think I would only do it if she agreed, and that is not something I am expecting soon.

  4. Hi Mal
    I am going against the grain here from what I have read.
    1 you shouldn't have cleaned her room.
    2 I personally think you missed the boat on spanking her because you waited to long, to me you would be sending mixed messages to her of not being consistent and she will think that you could go as far back as you can remember just to spank her. Just my thoughts


    1. Yes, Bob - I agree with you in that I waited too long; and it would have been better if I had not cleaned her room.

      There is another "clean-and-tidy" issue possibly developing and I can see myself dealing with that differently.

  5. Hello Malcolm,
    I believe that, if you and Rose are to be successful in beginning a DD relationship, it is going to be important to BEGIN at the beginning. I'd suggest that you not look backwards, but rather to the present and the future. Begin now as you mean to go on. Take one another by the hand and decide what will work. The past is not of any particular use to the two of you in forging something new and healthy.


    1. You are right, Sue.

      Rose long ago gave her consent to be spanked and my problem is that I am reluctant to use it when it should be used.


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