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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Separations. A woman of sterling worth.

My second wife divorced me in 1990 because of my infidelity.  The whole process was extraordinarily easy, quick, painless and cheap, and I interpreted that as a good sign.  We had been together about twenty-five years, since she was nineteen and I was thirty-three, but we were never a very good match sexually, and I sought other women and couples.  She was straight and I was kinky and as all readers here know, those characteristics do not blend well. I had formed a relationship with a couple of whom the wife liked to be spanked, the husband was inexperienced and I had ideas and some experience, they sought my co-operative help, and my wife did not like that.

However, she helped me valiantly in bringing up my two children from my first marriage, and she and I had two lovely children of our own together. In many ways we were happy with each other.

She was and is industrious, sensible, absolutely trustworthy with money and everything else.  After we were divorced she found separate accommodation and we remained good friends, helping each other whenever possible. She was never one to be shy with men, and soon found new relationships, one of which lasted for seven years or so and when he died he left her his good house and furniture, so that was very helpful to her.

One summer three years after I married Rose here in this tropical country I took her to England to show her my old country, and we visited my ex and her then current man (a retired mining engineer) in his house.  He was friendly, he possessed a good piano and my ex and I were able to sing a couple of our favourite songs together while I was there.  He died in 2001, collapsed while playing a round of golf. Later she found another man and was with him for a number of years, I don't know what happened to him but he is not in the picture now.

My ex has always been a somewhat religious person, a long time Quaker, but after her man's death became a "lay reader" in a local Protestant church.  Following that she became ordained and now takes services in that same church - a very old and historic one.  Last year she met yet another man and decided to get married.  She was married in March this year in her own church at the age of 68, her husband being 87.  She sent me photos and they are a good looking couple, the church was almost full for their wedding. Her marriage doesn't seem to have affected her attitude to me.  She has her own house and her everyday life is, I understand, not all that different from what it was before her marriage.  She tells me she never expected to have so many relationships, but that's just how things have turned out.

I felt pleased for them though conscious of yet further separation from her - in a certain sense. More isolated. I still have a joint bank account with her, for practical reasons. She is quite likely to be widowed yet again, but of course that's no barrier to getting married if you have no young children to care for.  Enjoy life while you can!


  1. Hi Malcolm

    Funny how relationships turn out and it can only be a good thing that you have remained friends for all these years. I have nearly split twice and if it happened i would have liked to remain good friends, luckily it never.

    Sorry to hear about your piano, i have been trying to teach myself for years but never seem to have enough time.

    Hope you are well

    BOB B

  2. Malcolm, There are no separations. Not from you piano, and not from those you have loved. The relationships exist and continue, and the separation is only your perception. There is no distance between you and the loves you have enjoyed. The music made reverberates throughout the universe, and the love given and received ripples through the whole fabric of existence. You are part of all of it, and the parts that you have added are forever.



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