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Sunday, January 06, 2013

Tolerance for my shortcomings

I commented on Dana's blog where she wrote that her husband has ADD and struggles with organising anything, and I felt that comment needed a post of its own, so here it is.

 I have never thought of myself as having ADD, but I do just the kind of thing Dana's husband did. I have several times reached the cash desk in the supermarket and found I had no money with me (they don't accept credit cards.)  It's embarrassing, but the girls there know me well and are very nice about it.  I  can just leave my purchases there and come back with the money later.

I'm hopeless at organising anything. I once found myself on a committee running an organisation for gifted children, and my job was to organise monthly trips. I wondered how I had managed to have a gifted child as I was so inept. I hated the job anyway, and found it very difficult. It's not the first time I have found myself in a job that needs organising skills and failed hopelessly - I just don't have the ability or even the inclination. You know the saying, "couldn't organise a Sunday School picnic"?  That's me. I forget essential things. The details just leave my mind when I'm not thinking about them.

Are these the symptoms of ADD? If so, it's lucky I don't believe in this obsessive and misleading classification of common characteristics!

Fortunately, my wife is a Filipina and one of the most tolerant of that tolerant people. No matter how many times I forget (or omit) to shut the screen door after me (keeps out the mosquitoes) she just gets up and quietly shuts it.  She doesn't get mad at me. I think for her it's just something she finds she has to do, if she wants it done - like opening an umbrella when it rains.  Though she will tell me how many mosquitoes she has caught inside the house, later in the evening, as though it's just a matter of interest to everyone.

2 comments:

  1. I think we all have traits that our partners adjust to because isnt that part of being in a partnership?, i know one of my most irritating 'issues' is my cleaning obsession, to the point its not uncommon for me to get up in the night to clean the kitchen because i cant sleep thinking i might have missed something.

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  2. Malcolm,
    In education circles, we consider whether a student has ADD if they are unable to focus sufficiently to complete ordinary tasks; unable to initiate tasks; unable to fluently switch between tasks; unable to sit still or take turns or follow directions in situations where those things are expected. Lots of us are situationally distractable, inclined to forget the things that aren't important to us; prone to let the things slide that do not engage our interest. That is a very human thing and not at all the same as the disabling inability to attend or focus which denotes ADD.

    swan

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