I have a problem with my wife's rough speech. So often when she talks to our son, she speaks roughly and makes it into scolding or some sort of confrontation. Claude often doesn't answer her until she has spoken several times, getting angrier each time, and this makes it worse. The more she shouts and gets angry, the less he wants to respond. I really don't like this, never in my own childhood was there any shouting or rough speech, I don't want it in my house now, but I don't know how to prevent it. I think probably my wife experienced it at home with her parents. She seems to find it quite normal.
There is another, related problem, too: when she speaks to Claude, Rose uses her own dialect, which Claude understands and speaks fluently but I do not, and I have not been capable of learning it, or even hearing it enough to distinguish the words. I don't like her having an argument with Claude in my hearing in a language I don't understand, and I have told Rose this several times but she takes no notice. My spirits sink low if I hear this rough speech with Claude starting. She does speak English to me, but is not fully comfortable with it, I have to pick my words carefully if I want to make sure she is understanding me.
I am not a dominant man and tend to withdraw if things are not going right between us.
Any useful suggestions?